My first memory of Parenting Advice

I was six years old, and my mother took me to my pediatrician for my annual checkup. We took the subway to Jane Station, walked across the slushy street, into the tall building, up the elevator, and into the waiting room. She checked me in, and we sat down to wait. With us in the waiting room was a young mother with an infant; they baby was maybe 3 months old.

The baby was crying. The baby was beet red and sweaty. And, because it was a slushy March day in Toronto, the baby was wearing a diaper, a onesie, a sweater and a snowsuit, and was wrapped up in a blanket in a stroller. The mom kept picking up the baby and snuggling, gently bouncing, and all manner of other soothing activities, to no avail.

I looked at my mom and said, in a low voice, “It doesn’t matter how much she soothes the baby; he’s not going to stop crying until she takes off two layers of clothing and lets him cool down.”

My mom agreed with me, as we were called into the office. She was surprised by my astute observation, and still tells the story 40 years later. I just remember a strong empathy with the baby, who was doing his best in a bad situation, and unaware of how to have his needs met.

The lesson here is that taking care of physical needs is key: if a kid (or any other human!) is hot, tired, hungry, thirsty, or otherwise uncomfortable they will not be performing at their best. We as parents can and should help create comfortable and safe spaces for our kids, and we can also help them endure discomfort when it inevitably presents itself.